For I am learning to sail my ship

yamunita writes.

dear GOD:

i’d like to file a complaint.

as i am a proclaimed non-believer,

this may confuse you.

the thing is, you exist whether i like it or not.

maybe not the way it says

in a dozen or so Holy books,

but you exist in the hearts and minds of your followers.

an idea exists, correct?—so there you are.

here’s my complaint:

some of your followers are nuts.

and i mean, really off the deep end.

they seem to believe

that you’re waiting

behindevery last streetcorner

ready to POUNCE and unleash your almighty wrath

on the most naïve of litterers.

now, GOD, if you’ll excuse me for taking liberties here,

you seem like a pretty nice guy.

i’m sure you’re fine with people being in love, enjoying themselves, all of that.

as long as they aren’t bastards(and there really isn’t a better word)to other people.

am i close, at least?

now, i understand the need for some kind of punishment

for those who are bastards. (and we both know they exist)

but, let’s face it—

some of said bastards

happen to be

your loudest followers.

and they use your words

to defend their


dastardly deeds.

GOD, i know i’m a non-believer and all, but


isn’t there SOMETHING

you can do about this?

  • 26 April 2012